Prayer is one of the things that I find the hardest to do in my relationship with God. I don’t know how I am most effective at it. I don’t know what will help me be consistent with it. I don’t know how to pray so I tend to feel like a failure. And since I don’t feel like people are relying on my relationship with God then I just allow myself to fail instead of trying to be successful. What I think I need to realize is that there is an interlocking grid between me and other people, and if I allow myself to fail because I don’t think they will notice or realize...well that may actually be true...they may not notice or realize the difference that God could be making in their lives via my relationship with Him because why would they know what they are missing out on if they don’t have it. What I am basically trying to say is that my relationship with God could allow me to see people differently, and in that, how I treat them may be different than before. And from there maybe God can work through my life and do something even greater in their lives. People are depending on my relationship with God...at least inadvertently.
Now I know that my motive for this needs to be for God alone, but I believe that God can arouse a heart of failure in his own ways. Maybe looking at prayer from this angle will cause my motives to change and ultimately be because I can’t live life without constant communion with my Creator.
Help me Jesus to have a heart of mercy, grace, love, etc. towards people and let that start in my prayer life.
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